Tis' the season...

So I know I haven't written for a while, but I also haven't been near a computer without 10 thousand things to do. Now I'm at home in Peterborough and finally have some free time.

One thing to say about today: Christmas shopping with Sean is FUN!! lol He, of course, decided that leaving all his shopping until two days before christmas was the best way to shop this year. Now he is complaining that he has no idea what to buy anyone!!! I just laugh and try to make the car slide all over the road. (Why? Because it's fun!) It's nice to be home again. I normally have such a hard time leaving Windsor that it isn't until I'm here for a couple of days that I start really enjoying myself. This time was so much better though. Still miss people at home in Windsor but loving the time here, too. I guess there is just too much going on there.

Speaking of which I need to vent a bit. Why do I feel like I'm both back in high school and also way older than I am at the same time?! It sucks. I'm frustrated with the bickering and want to have more fun. Is this really too much to ask?!? The parties we have had lately (not that they have been many) have sucked overall and we never DO anything anymore. I don't just mean going out drinking or to the bars; that is fun yes, but anything else would be good too. Any ideas?

I am also scared. I want to fix what is wrong with my life (aka: school, not seeing Patrick or Lynz nearly enough, etc) but really don't know how. Patrick is so busy with work and such; that and we have always had schedules that miss. That and sometimes I'm still a bit uncomfortable around him; not wanting to hurt him and yet feeling like he wants much more than I can give right now. Lynz is a different story. I am so happy for her and Kevin; they do look very happy together. I am worried that she has chosen now to change her life-style, because, yes, it does look like she is doing it him and I'm not the only one who thinks that. As for the gossip tree that sprouts around here, you will be part of it girl. Remember you used to be one of it's roots, so you can't run now. As for me, I just want you happy. Not a forced happy; not a fake happy; not a "Im going to do this to make him happy" happy; a REAL happy. Now I am not saying that you are doing any of these, so please don't take it like that. Anyway, I want to talk about this with you in person so I'm going to drop it there. Just know that I love you girl.

Okay, sorry, got a bit caught up in that there. *shake*

Anyway, I'm getting called for chili (mmmm...mommy-cooked food....) so I am going to run. Merry Christmas to all, and I want to hear about you best christmas story!!! *smile*

-a very befuddled Sar