AM I TRUE TO MYSELF?
by Edgar Guest
I have to live with myself, and so
I want to be fit for myself to know,
I want to be able, as days go by,
Always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don't want to stand, with the setting sun
And hate myself for things I have done.
I don't want to keep on a closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself,
And fool myself, as I come and go,
Into thinking that nobody else will know
The kind of man I really am;
I don't want to dress up myself in sham.
I want to go out with my head erect,
I want to deserve all men's respect;
But here in the struggle for fame and self
I want to be able to like myself
I don't want to look at myself and know
That I'm bluster and bluff and empty show.
I can never hide myself from me;
I see what others may never see;
I know what others may never know;
I never can fool myself, and so,
Whatever happens, I want to be
Self-respecting and conscience free.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Thursday, October 05, 2006
School school and more school
So I worked my last day with PDC yesterday. 10.5 hours of staring at rusty bearings. fun. No more until May. See ya!
Now is time to focus on school and not going nuts. I have been in school way too bloody long and it is time to graduate already so I can leave. Then if I want to go on in school, fine. But at least I will feel like I have actually accomplished something rather then sitting on my ass.
This past weekend I helped move Richard into Amanda and Tristan's place. I've been spending a bunch of time over there which has been nice. It is nice to have one place that has most of the people that I depend on and make me happy. They, plus Natalie, are keeping me from either becoming a hurmit or exploding and hurting something/one or myself. Although maybe a little hurmit time would be a good thing from time to time. My temper is short and anxiety high. Makes me fun to be around Im sure.
Ever feel like you are swimming in quicksand? Its a great feeling. Just enough air to keep going but always fighting for the next breath.
Im sorry. This is a rather depressing post. Im going to stop now before I say more. blah.
Now is time to focus on school and not going nuts. I have been in school way too bloody long and it is time to graduate already so I can leave. Then if I want to go on in school, fine. But at least I will feel like I have actually accomplished something rather then sitting on my ass.
This past weekend I helped move Richard into Amanda and Tristan's place. I've been spending a bunch of time over there which has been nice. It is nice to have one place that has most of the people that I depend on and make me happy. They, plus Natalie, are keeping me from either becoming a hurmit or exploding and hurting something/one or myself. Although maybe a little hurmit time would be a good thing from time to time. My temper is short and anxiety high. Makes me fun to be around Im sure.
Ever feel like you are swimming in quicksand? Its a great feeling. Just enough air to keep going but always fighting for the next breath.
Im sorry. This is a rather depressing post. Im going to stop now before I say more. blah.
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