The ultimate in laziness

I love this!!! Laying in bed playing on my new computer! It's so lazy and its great!
Anyway, I though I had better write now that I have no excuse not to. Got a brandnew coat for christmas and it is so beautiful! Also got a Kareokee machine, which we re going to try out tomorrow nite. This year has flown by; I can't believe that tomorrow is New Years Eve. Richard and I have been together for 10 months! It doesn't feel that long. Thinking about it I kinda have a scared little feeling in the pit of my stomache; not that I am not happy with Richard, because I very much am! I just hope that the decisions that I made this past year were the right ones. I know that there is nothing I can do to go back and change anything if I wanted to. I guess this all came to a bit of a head when I got some not so good news about next year. I don't know. And I think I never will, so I need to stop living in the past and move forward. I just extreamly hope that I don't lose anyone important along the way.

Sorry. I guess this post got a bit depressing. Another thing about posting in bed before the sun comes up; I tend to just start writing and things come out. Oh well, thats kindawhat these things are for I guess, right?

Merry Christmas

YEAH! Christmas!!!

Got some really fun things, so we have no excuse for crappy parties now!!! *wink*
Hope everyone got everything that they wanted, and maybe somethings that they didn't dream of!

Tis' the season...

So I know I haven't written for a while, but I also haven't been near a computer without 10 thousand things to do. Now I'm at home in Peterborough and finally have some free time.

One thing to say about today: Christmas shopping with Sean is FUN!! lol He, of course, decided that leaving all his shopping until two days before christmas was the best way to shop this year. Now he is complaining that he has no idea what to buy anyone!!! I just laugh and try to make the car slide all over the road. (Why? Because it's fun!) It's nice to be home again. I normally have such a hard time leaving Windsor that it isn't until I'm here for a couple of days that I start really enjoying myself. This time was so much better though. Still miss people at home in Windsor but loving the time here, too. I guess there is just too much going on there.

Speaking of which I need to vent a bit. Why do I feel like I'm both back in high school and also way older than I am at the same time?! It sucks. I'm frustrated with the bickering and want to have more fun. Is this really too much to ask?!? The parties we have had lately (not that they have been many) have sucked overall and we never DO anything anymore. I don't just mean going out drinking or to the bars; that is fun yes, but anything else would be good too. Any ideas?

I am also scared. I want to fix what is wrong with my life (aka: school, not seeing Patrick or Lynz nearly enough, etc) but really don't know how. Patrick is so busy with work and such; that and we have always had schedules that miss. That and sometimes I'm still a bit uncomfortable around him; not wanting to hurt him and yet feeling like he wants much more than I can give right now. Lynz is a different story. I am so happy for her and Kevin; they do look very happy together. I am worried that she has chosen now to change her life-style, because, yes, it does look like she is doing it him and I'm not the only one who thinks that. As for the gossip tree that sprouts around here, you will be part of it girl. Remember you used to be one of it's roots, so you can't run now. As for me, I just want you happy. Not a forced happy; not a fake happy; not a "Im going to do this to make him happy" happy; a REAL happy. Now I am not saying that you are doing any of these, so please don't take it like that. Anyway, I want to talk about this with you in person so I'm going to drop it there. Just know that I love you girl.

Okay, sorry, got a bit caught up in that there. *shake*

Anyway, I'm getting called for chili (mmmm...mommy-cooked food....) so I am going to run. Merry Christmas to all, and I want to hear about you best christmas story!!! *smile*

-a very befuddled Sar

Thanks

Just wanted to send out a big thanks to everyone who came out yesterday for Richard's birthday. I know it really meant a lot to him and I was ecstatic to see him so happy!
And a large and heart-felt round of applause for Lynz, Social Coordinator extraordinar!! You are the bomb girl!!

Have something to say.....

I know that I haven't written for a long time and I am sorry. It has been a pretty crazy couple of months, between school, work and personal life. Those of you who are around me know and understand, but that is not what i would like to address right now.

A little birdy has been chirping in my ear and I am starting to get sick of the information he has been passing on. There are some of you who will read this that have a problem with the way that Patrick and I act around each other; many think we are too close, others are determined to see us get back together simply so that they can call "I told you so". I know that the relationship between Patrick and I is strange and closer than most normal exs. I will be the first to admit that it can easily give off the wrong impression, however, as I have said continually since February, I am completely up front and honest with both Patrick and Richard, I care about each of them too much not to be. If some of you are still worried than please come and talk to us personally. I don't have a problem with this.

What I do have a problem with is people continually talking about us in an uninformed and rumor-like behaviour. People will talk; I am aware of this, but talk also passes along the grape-vine. Many are worried that I will end up hurting Richard. Those of you who truly know me will know that this is something that I am terrified about. I HATE hurting people, and it angers me when those who would stop me from hurting, end up doing all the hurt themselves. So to those who are still talking about this, please know that you are the ones that are hurting Richard, not me.

Please think about that.

do-di-do-di-do
So...yeah....I think I may still be a little drunk from last nite so if this makes little sense it's not my fault...blame Lynz! lol
I am so glad that everyone is finally coming back to town and that we are starting see each other again. The summer was long and the bomb that has been building over the past few months has yet to blow. I just want it to blow so that everyone can get back to normal again. blah.
On to happier news....its party time!! P-A-R-T-why? Cause I gotta!! lol Hope to see you all there!
Oh and check out the new club site!! It's awesome!! Big hand for Trevor, web master extrordinare!!!

WHERE IS LYNZY!!!!

Thats all I want to know.

Comments suck

So I finally got sick of the new blogger comments and tried to put in haloscan, but because I'm computer illiterate I screwed up and not have no comments. Help anyone? I don't know what I did wrong.

Nothing mcuh to say...just thought I should up-date this thing.

Here's a question that needs to be debated and one that is giving me issue. Let me know what you think....

So when Sept rolls around I will be in 5 D&D games; three are running weekly and two bi-weekly. I love playing and each game is giving me something different to try, so I really don't want to have to drop out of any of them, however, with the club starting up we are starting to get people who want to join games, but few, if any game places to pass around. Should I drop out of a couple of games to allow room for the new people room to play as well? Or should I not, reasoning that the club gives a place and organization that brings people together to play, but does not guarantee places in current games?

What do you think? Let me know.

On a happier note...

Sorry everyone. I was just reading over the past few posts and realized how depressing they sounded. So I wanted to write something a little bit happier; just to bring everything back into balance and to stop worrying those of you who may not see me on a regular basis *smile*
 
Work is going well. I have been kinda upset about it because I am having troubles finding people to make appointments with here in Windsor, however, I must be doing something right because I am still number 5 in the top reps in the office for the summer! I wont complaine *smile*
 
I've had the house to myself this past week (with Lynz being in Cally and Patrick in the Sault) which has been kinda lonely but at the same time kinda nice, esspecially not that we have enough fans going to bring the temp. down to bareable. *wink*
 
I thinking that we need to have another party soon. I know that we just had one at Joes (and it was a blast!!) but what about planning a blowout for when everyone is coming home?! That could be a lot of fun and could set the year off with a bang. Any ideas?
 
For those of you who don't live here in muggy ol' Windsor, just to let you know I am planning on coming back into the Ptbo area in the last week of August. Let me know what your plans are and we will have to get together (that esspecially means YOU Sean and Amanda!!). I will be working as much as I can that week but still want to see each of you, so we should work something out.
 
Anyway I'm gonna go play with my neopet for a while, so have fun everyone.
Cheers,
 
-Sar

The Summer Time Blues

As I was reading everyone's blogs, got to thinking how the dynamics of our group has changed over the past year and I have come to one giant conclusion:

I MISS EVERYONE!!

For a while our group was getting bigger and bigger; meeting Dave and Lisa's friends, than meeting everyone at the other house....but now it seems like we are shrinking again. Now I know that some people are away for the summer and they will come back, but it feels like the relationships between everyone is changing and I don't really like it. I miss having random adventures and last minute parties. I miss girlz nites and movie nites. Heck, I miss having everyone just drop by and do nothing. I miss Lynz and Patrick and Erin and the crazy things we would do. I miss talking with Lisa and Melisa and hanging out. I miss playing D&D with everyone for hours on end. I miss fighting with and staying up late talking with Dan. I wish I got to see Aaron more. And even Trev, Tristan and Amanda, even though we see each other, yet I wish we could do more together. I even miss having Lawrence living with us and the crazy fights and things that we would all do. I just miss my friends.

To everyone, if I see you on a daily basis or not, I love you all and count myself lucky to have you a part of my life. So big hugs to everyone I mentioned and everyone I may have forgotten (sorry). I hope that you are all happy and having a great time doing whatever you do.

I miss you.

School time once more...

Wow...this summer is going by so quickly. I can't believe that it is half over all ready. And yet September still seems far off. I guess I just don't really want to get back into classes yet; especially not US History but that's just me. :)

The club is coming along quite well and I am excited for it to get really up and running. Its going to take lots of work but I think that it will be worth it and lots of fun. I know I have big plans for this little club and, like normal I am jumping in with both feet but I can't help it, I am so pumped. I keep looking at all these things that are coming up on campus and thinking..."We could do that!" Well, we'll see what happens.

Hope to see everyone at the meeting tomorrow! *smile*

-Sar

GRRRRR!!!

I think I am most definately missing something to do with this blog thing. Everything is SUPPOST to be so easy and yet I am stupid enough not be able to figure it out.

My latest problem: how do I add people on the member lists so that they can be given access to administration??? I thought I was following all the instrusction but apparently not because it doesn't work!!!

Anyone have any idea what I'm doing wrong?? Please help me! I seriously losing it today.

-a very upset and frazzled Sar

Blessed be Everyone on this Midsummer!

Just wanting to wish everyone a good Midsummer. Hope your every wish and desire comes true, and happiness and joy fills your heart.
I love and miss you all.
Blessed be.

-Sar

Cutco anyone??

Well I have new job and I'm kinda excited about it. for those of you who don't know...I'm working for Vector selling Cutco products, and am actually doing not too bad at it. It's been hard getting numbers of people I can call down here in Windsor, but I'm still lugging and enjoying it. I've set goals that I want to reach...ie: make the "Key Staff" team, be one of the ones asked to stay another day at the next confrence (only the top 70 reps get asked), and to hit my next promotion by the confrence. They will each be hard to get but I think I can do it and am trying as hard as I can. So wish me luck! *wink*

Other than that life is going slow but sure. Lynz is leaving soon, which is a real bummer (who is going to plan last-minute-parties or sit around pestering Patrick with me!?!) but I know she is going to have a blast and will be back in Aug.

Summer school is starting soon which I have mixed feelings about. On one hand I am showing Tina how much I DO want to be here and am doing my best to pull up my marks for teachers collage. On the other hand, it's school and this is summer!! Those two aren't suppost to mesh! Oh well, we'll see how that goes.

Oh, one thing that is coming up that I'm excited about is my next trip home; this time will be different as I am planning to visit Eddie in TO for a couple of days, as well as meet Sean, Bryan, Steph and Jamie at the Pride Parade on the weekend!! And on top of all that, if I can convince Aaron to come down with me, we'll get to party in TO!! It should be a blast. And then I have work to keep me busy and out of the house, which is always a good thing. So we'll see how that pans out.

Anyway, that's it for tonite. Everyone sleep tight and watch out for those monster, mutant bed bugs that'll kill you in your sleep.....

...I mean...sweet dreams! *wink* *L*

-Sar

What used to be home

It has most definately been interesting being back in peterborough this past week. I was so excited to be coming back....enough time to see friends I have been missing....much needed visit with my mom.....and work while I was at it.

Well not everything worked out as well as I had envisioned it.

First of all I didn't get as many presentations as I had hoped, and not nearly as many sales. But I guess that is to be expected. I did make some good cash though, and it seems to be picking up. I just hope that I can keep it up in Windsor.

As for the nice peaceful visit with my family...it's not that easy to do when they are screaming at each other! The attitude that Kid has! Geez! I hope that I was never that bad....I couldn't have been or if I was....I'm surprised that Mom didn't get rid of me early!! Sheesh!! Just being here re-inforces the fact that there is no way I could move back in. I guess this is good in some ways because I don't want to become one of those people who lives with their folks for far too long....but than again I hate leaving Mom with all of this stuff to deal with. I feel so helpless when I'm so far away.The worst thing about being here is that I feel even more helpless when I am here and still can't do anything about it. All the screaming does is scare me and all the situation does is piss me off. Neither is good and neither I have control over which only upsets me more. I'm just glad I'm only here for less than a week.

I also miss everyone at home so much. Today wasn't too bad 'cause I kept busy and got to actually see some of my friends here, but most of the week was horrible! I guess you just get used to people always being there and then when they aren't you miss them ten times more. Well Monday nite is finally right around the bend. I will be so nice to be back home once more.

Alright...I'm going to stop complaining tonite and go wait to get stood up again...what else is new....*sigh*

'till tomorrow all

-Sar

Just for a bit...

As you may have guessed I am having major difficulties with this thing I call a Blog. So until someone who knows more about programing language than I do (ie: Trevor, Aaron, and anyone else who could HELP) this shall be my template. I know there are problems with it...ie: no links.....but hopfully this is only temperary.

Anyway I will write more later...promise...but right now I should leave my brother alone before he wakes up and kicks my butt for being in his room at 830 in the morning.

Meh.

Big Smiles Everyone!!

-Sar

A dark whole

The world is spinning and I can't catch up.

Now I don't know if I want to.

I want my bubble back...it was peaceful and safe.
But now it's gone and the real world is too bright.
How can I see the end when I can't see one step in front of me?
How can I see my path when I don't know where it leads?
When I don't know were I am going....

I need a hole
Something dark and secure
Somewhere I can hide
From words
From feeling
From light

I am shrinking
so fast and yet not fast enough
And now I am scared of being squished

Sorry for the Mess

I am currently trying to figure out what the heck went wrong with my blog and try to fix it. As you can see it's not working very well, so please bare with me. I'll try to get it finished within the next couple of days....as long as it doesn't delete itself on me again!! grrr.....

Have any suggestions? Give me a shout!! PLEASE!! I can use all the help I can get!

-An extreamly frustrated Sar

I am lost

Have you ever had those moments when nothing feels like it is going the way that you thought it was? That the world is spinning so fast that you are getting left behind? What am I doing? I am always so worried about what other people will think or making other people happy that I think I may have lost myself in the mix. If a friend was in this situation I would tell them to follow their heart 'cause that is always the best thing to follow. The problem here is that my heart is torn and my feelings are so messed up that I have no idea what is true and what isn't.

Now please don't read this and take it as I don't love and care for the people I say I do, 'cause I do; very much so. But that is the problem. I want both to be happy and I can be happy with both...but then I see what this is doing to them and I get increadibly scared. I don't want to hurt anyone and yet I always seem to hurt those I care most about.

I just want everyone to be happy. Is that too much to ask? I just want to disappear. Lose myself in a void somewhere. Or just leave. Yes, it may hurt right now but people would get over it and prolly be better off.

I know how this post prolly sounds but I am not looking for pity or anything like that; I am only getting some stuff off my chest that has been weighing me down for a while.
Sorry if I bothered anyone.

Last Minute Luau!

Party time is here again!! I warned you we were planning something! *winks and giggles* Lynzy and I had a grand ol' time last nite making our bar not so ugly and I am quite proud of the result. Keep in mind when you see it that it is held together entirely by packing tape and yarn.

So the party is tonite at 9 until whenever. We are going to try something new. If everyone pays a 5$ admission fee, than we can make alcoholic and non-alcoholic punch and snacks that fit the theme. Tell me what you think. This way we are all paying for the refreshments and if you want more than you can bring your own and keep it to yourself. No one will take anyone elses alcohol and we are all happy and having fun. We'll see what happens.

So hope to see you all there tonite with your brightest of brights on!!

Aloha

A Little Bit of Bad.....A Little Bit of Good

Yeah! It's so nice to have the internet again at my fingertips. I didn't realize how much I use it until we didn't have it. But now all is good and the new place is pulling itself together. I like the lack of space (less area to keep clean!!) although I know now that my lack of actual walls for my room is going to get annoying. Not much in the way of privacy if you know what I mean. Oh well, we'll deal.

Here I would like to appologize for my absence at the last party. I really don't know what the hell happened. One minute I was fine (drunk but fine) and the next I was crawling across the floor to Lawrence's old room. Not planning on doing that again. And I am increadiblty upset that I missed all the games! grr... Oh well..we have another party in the works so just you wait.

Oh and I would also like to remind people that they need to bring their own alcohol to these parties (unless otherwise talked to). Between Lynz and I, we lost about 40+ dollars in alcohol that we didn't even touch and I don't know about you but I sure cannot keep doing that. I will be talking to some people personally about replacing it but just please keep in mind that if you want to drink, bring something to drink. Not that we can't all share...we can...just keep in mind to drink only the amount you have brought. Example a 10$ bottle doesn't magically turn into 2 40s!! So that's my rant about that.

Now for some good news....Frodo is the proud mother of 3 new little babies!! and it looks as though one of them may have black fur!! YAY! We were hoping for some interesting colouring, other than just gray so we will see what happens in a week or so when they get their fur.

Anyway gotta head...Van Helsing is calling me!! *wink*

Later

I am so bored. I want to write something but don't know what. blah.... Any suggestions?

In Loving Memory of Julius Koegler

Last nite I recieved the information that my beloved puppy had left us. For all those that knew him, Julie was always an outgoing and loveable pup with big brown puppy-dog eyes and a happy-go-lucky smile that made the people around him happy. I was lucky enough to have Julie a part of my life for 14 years and will cherish every memory. Julius passed away on Tuesday April 13th at the age of 18, while holding Mom's hand and gently smiling, while the snow that he always loved to play in softly fell outside.

We will miss you terribly my Jules; loving you always.

11 days to go...

I can't believe that April has gone by so fast!! Don't get me wrong, I am SO glad that exams are almost over but I haven't even had time to pack yet and we are moving in less than two weeks!
I have kinda mixed feelings about moving outta this house and into the apartment. This house has a lot of memories, both good and bad although I tend to think that the bad out weigh the good, but still a lot has happened here. But it's time to move on and that makes me excited. New times to be had and a brand new place to decorate. Yay! *smile*
Now if I can only find out a way to get my hammock.......

I would first like to say that...I very much dislike Tina!!
Let me explain....

Lynz and I are in this Literacy class this year and working together on a workshop that we have created for a multicultural class. First of all, this turned out not to be a class but a club of 50 students between grade 6 and grade 8. Who has EVER had a club in public school that had that many students involved?! And the teacher who was running this thing was of no help to us..."What is the ratio of boys to girls?" "I don't know" "Do you have anything in particular that you would like us to focus on?" "Nope...we do everything" "What kind of materials can we use?" "I don't know" AAHH!! And Tina was no better! First we planned out this great idea of doing a small mock UN, in groups having the students find out only a few things about a country and then work together to find a solution to a global problem that we would raise. But according to Tina that is enough work for a full semester unit; which granted it could be but it didn't have to be. So instead she wanted us to workshop an assembly with the students and then drop the rest of it on the teacher's lap to finish and preform! I don't think so. I know I wouldn't like it if anyone did that to me so I'm not going to do it to anyone else.
So finally we come up with a workshop that Tina approves. Now it's March break and we can't get a hold of our teacher! Finally, after a week we do and she tells us that she needs a copy of the workshop plan to go over with the principal but everything should be okay. Fine. Nope. When we finally get sick of waiting (and by now starting to freak out cause the end of the term is fast approaching) we call her again and she tells us that she had wanted to call a week and a half ago to say that she is too busy so she is going to pass off the plan to the other teacher that works with the club, a Ms Mackenze. However she has forgotten to do either of these things but she "will do it today and have her call you back before friday" This by the way, was last wednesday that we spoke to her.
Friday comes....no call. Monday comes....no call. So Tuesday Lynz calls the school. "No I'm sorry, Ms Arya doesn't work for us anymore and there is no other teacher that has ever worked with the multicultural club before....we have no one that goes by that name at all." WHAT!!! How does two teachers disappear over a weekend!!! So now we are screwed. We have been keeping Tina well informed for the entire fiasco, but now she tells us that we "should have come to her" and that we "could have done more" to prevent this from happening. Okay...did I miss something? Or did we just get screwed and then told it was our fault it happened!!!
Luckily Amanda is a god and was able to get a hold of a teacher she has worked with previous so we are going in tomorrow morning to present our workshop....and then create a presentation of how it went and what our findings were for 2 oclock the same day for Tina's class. Not to mention a 10+ page booklet that is due that day as well! Did I forget to say that Tina freaked out when we said we were going into another classroom? Yeah...appartently she needs to talk to the teacher first and tell her what we are all about. All she said after that was "do whatever...it's your mark." Ouch.
I can still so see both of us getting screwed by this. This is a core class. If we get even a C- we are kicked out of our program no questions asked. Three years down the drain. And if we try to fight the mark we go to the heads of the Drama Dept...guess who is part of that? Tina. And if we do get kicked out we have to wait a year and then re-audition. Guess who runs those? Tina. Not the prof you want to piss off if you are planning on graduating from DRED.
This is the perfect ending to a perfectly crappy term. I'll be lucky if I get any of my credits this term.

So anyway...wish us luck and I'll write again if Tina doesn't manage to totally kill us tomorrow. Maybe only mostly dead. *S* *sigh*

Pure. Simple. Maple.

Thats all I want to say....
The sweetest things in life are the simplest.

-Sar

And the award goes to...

TREVOR!!!
For the best random story that includes squirrles! Congrats!
For those of you who haven't checked this out...do so!! It is great!! LOL

-A still giggling Sar

I hate money!!

Grrr.....Why does everything have to be so freak'n expensive! Like really...what happened to the days when a movie was 5 dollars and people got outraged when gas went above .49. I just don't get it and it is really starting to piss me off. I just want to be able to go out with friends and do things that we enjoy without having to be worried if this one movie means I wont have enough for bills or food.
Give me a break!! Grrr....

Yay to Powerful Monsters!

I noticed that the last time I wrote I was not in the best of moods so I thought I would write again to change that. You are wondering about the title perhaps? Well....think Dan and Patrick plus a group of increadibly powerful monsters against a group of characters fresh from school, averaging level 5. Yeah...total chaos! Dan was talking last nite about wanting to kill one of the characters today (he didn't care who, although I had my bets on who would die first); he achieved his goal, plus another character and a dire lion (who was supposed to be the Paladin's mount). Oops! And most of us didn't even get treasure out of it!! Grrr....

It was fun but I tend to enjoy a bit more rp-ing and not so much of the hack and slash, even though I am playing a fighter. It should be interesting where this plot takes us, because we really have no idea what is coming up next. Oh well...we'll see what happens.

Live long and fight hard!

WOW! For those of you who haven't seen "Butterfly Effect" yet...go see it!! It is amazing!! The emotion in it is SO high it is crazy. It really freaked me out; it was so realistic and really made me think about what happens to all of us. Not a movie for those with a weak stomach that is for sure, but a good movie overall.

It really made me think about how much control we really have over our lives. Hind-sight is always 20-20, and I know many times that I have wished I could go back and change something that I did/didn't do. But this movie made me wonder what would happen if I did. Everything happens for a reason, of that I am positive; somedays I guess I just knew what the reason was. If I had the power to go back in time to change something...I don't think I would use it. As much as we worry about how things will end up or whether or not decisions are the right one. I know that is something that I worry about obessively.

But I think if anything I would use the power to see into the future; not only for myself (although I do have a few things that worry me) but more so for the people I care about. I feel so much pain around me right now. It feels like I am swimming through it and the dark just keeps getting closer and swollowing up everyone around me. I feel so lost and helpless. I just wish that I could help more and make everything even a bit better. The dark doesn't have to be so freightening if there is a friendly hand to hold.

I know that I am being the mother hen again but I can't help it. I see someone in pain and I want to fix it. Especially if it they are people that I care deeply about. I am scared of disappointing people nor will I stand by while someone is in need, even if there is nothing I can do to help. I just want everyone to be happy; is that such a terrible thing?

It will come for me too....and I wont be able to stop it.

It has been awhile since I last blogged, so I thought I would say something.

The Elmo's went extreamely good this year!! I was so glad that everyone got so dressed up; everyone looked great! I wish I could have taken more pictures, so if anyone has any, can I buy copies off of you? Let me know.

As usual, we did have some melodrama but that always seems to happen, especially at one of the two biggest parties that we hold every year. (Elmos and Hallowe'en for those of you who don't know) However, issues are being handled with and all in all I think it was a nite to remember for a while.

Anyway I have to head for now, but I will write more later. Going to see "Butterfly Effect" finally; hopefully it is as good as everyone has said.

'Til Later

-Sar

ELMO Awards

Alrighty...The list is in and since I have already heard of a couple of people who didn't get it, I thought that I would put it up here so that you all can see. We NEED to have your nominations in by Thursday (Friday morning at the VERY latest and only if you talk to us first plz.) Also please let us know if you will not be coming on Sunday.

I do not know the exact time as of yet but will get the information up ASAP. Since it will prolly be around supper time (it was last year too) we will be doing the potluck thing. If you don't know what to bring, ask us; if you do kow what you will be bringing please let us know so that we can try not to have 20 bags of chips or whatever.

And for those who do not know yet, there will be prizes for costumes that nite so come dressed-up. It'll be fun!! *S* I think that is it for now but I'll keep you posted if anything else comes up.

So here is the list...it's a long one so have fun!

The you do know this is just a game award
most annoying halflings protrayed live action style
biggest guy who always plays the smallest girl characters
the ruby wang award (ask Amanda)
The green fairy award
The you're not the boss of me award
most experience and items earned by making/buying the Battle DM drinks (ok thats a joke..I want those experience points Dan)
Most useless character
Charater who's recieved the most damage
Character who should've died the most but didn't (also could be called 'luckiest' character)
Character who stuck to their alignment the most
Character who changed their alignment the most
Character who hoarded the most treasure
Funniest death
Most Muchkin-like moment
Worst plan or plan that went the most astray
Favourite NPC
Bad-timing by a character
Best reason for running away by a character
Most heroic deed by a character
Best magical item use by a character
Worst misunderstanding by a character
Top wish by a character
Best use of Intimidation by a character
Ruthless character
Most memorable monster
Most evil act by a DM
Most Lawful, Most Neutral, Most Chaotic, Most good, Most Evil
Gutsiest Move
Best battle tactic
Most ruthless
Best non-combative
Best played alignment
Highest body count
Most diplomatic
Most interesting Character
BEST CHARACTER
Best D&D stories to share over a pint of grog'
Most alcoholic character
Best Comedic relief
Best Plot DM
Best Battle DM
Darwin Award
Murphy's Law Award
Biggest Monkey Wrench award
Dumbest Character
Most useful Character
Most Useless Character
Highest Player Killings (lol)
Crowd Pleaser
Best Reacurring NPC
Best Villian
Funniest Idea by DM
MOst unique idea or situation by DM
Best roleplayed moment by DM
Most Creative Use of Magic by PC
Saddest Moment
Best Motivation given by the DM
Best use of "Creative Combat"
Player who makes the DM scramble for the Player's Manual the Most
DM who makes the Book of Vile Darkness look like something by Dr. Seuss.
Most Creative Grabbing of Other Peoples Ideas or the "Plagerizing Award"
Best Storytelling Moment

Remember to get those nominations in ASAP!! See you all this Sunday!!

-Sar

Home Sweet Home

Wow is it nice to be home again. I'm always so busy when I come back here but it is SO nice to see everyone and to play with my pup again. Julie has been following me around all day...lol He didn't even go to bed last nite until 1130 'cause I was still up! The poor guy was so tired. I just wish he could come down to meet everyone in Windsor, cause I know how much he loves people. Maybe someday...

Steph came over last nite and when we were talking she brought up an interesting point. I know it was kinda meant as a joke but I seems to be so true. Steph, Sean and I have been friends for years, but it always seems to work out that we are never all happy at once. There is always something going on with at least one of us. Why is that? Why can we not all be happy at one time and have nothing stressful to worry about. Is that too much to ask?

This place brings back a lot of memories. It seems like wherever I go in Ptbo, there is some memory attached to each place. Some good, some not so good.I think that may be one reason that I have a hard time being here for an extended period of time (other than the fact that Mom and I would kill each other if I lived here for too long, that is if Kid and I didn't do it first!) (oh by the way...Kid is my nickname for my kid brother Matt). I often live too much in the past anyway and have a hard time letting sleeping dogs lie, so being here is just too much.

But than not everything about this place is bad; in fact much of it is comforting. It lets me just kinda sit back and take a break from my everyday life. That and I get to see people that are dear to me and who I don't get to see as often as I would like. All and all I'm glad I came home. I know its not for long, but it is enough.

Soon it will be time to head back to Windsor and get ready for life there once more. It should be a hectic week with the Elmos on this Sun, but it will definately be fun! *S* So hugz to everyone and I hope that you are all having a great break.

See you all soon.

-Sar

Well the confusion is over and now the guilt begins.

I know that I have done what I need to do and that there are sometime that I "need to be selfish", but that will not stop me from feeling the guilt of hurting someone dear to me. Patrick and I are over. It is the best thing for both of us, even if he doesn't see it completely. It is also the best thing for me and what my heart is telling me I need to do. I have to trust it, even if it does hurt me.

I may be a little out of wack for the next few days before I leave for home, but everything happens for a reason and I can only trust to that. I am extreamly sorry....but I need to move on.

I hope that he can understand.

I so confused!!!

I really don't know what to do, and everything that I envision only turns out bad. Reality sucks. I want to live in a dream world of my own making.

Any suggestions?

Its my Birthday!!!

YEAH!! I'm 22 today!! Wow that is old! Ah well; everyone has to get old eventually I guess, yet I still don't consider myself an adult in many ways. Is that a good thing?

Well so far it is only 4:40 and I have almost cried twice today. Both good cries though so no worries. It is just this time of year that I like to take the time to see what the past year has brought, and right now I can only see the good things. New friends...new challenges...new outlooks...as well as the continuing of close friendships. Its all good. *S*

Thanks everyone...for everything. I miss those of you that can't be here today; and I'll enjoy the time I spend with those of you that can.

Here's my thought of the day: To find the perfect blossom, you need only open your eyes.

Love and Hugz to all! :x

Death to Valentine's Day

This past weekend has been a rollar coaster, and I can only see more loops and spirals ahead. I have never really been a huge participant of vanentine's day; I do have a bit of a romantic streak that rears it's ugly head around this time of year but I normally don't go all out. This year I make an exception. I did everything; flowers, teddy bear, rose pedals, candles, and even a new nightgown. Lets just say that it didn't go as according to plan.
Lots of things have been building up between Patrick and I for a long while; ever since summer after 1st year and than the infamous "hallowe'en" it seemed as though we never got a break. Just when we were working through an issue, a new one sprang up and didn't give anytime to complete the one before it. Unfortunately this all came to a head friday nite, during what I was hoping was going to be a very romantic adventure. So steps have been taken. Patrick and I are "stepping back", not breaking up but starting over. He needs to figure out who he is first and I have some issues that I need to work through before we can start to re-build our relationship.
I have to admit that this scares the hell out of me. Patrick is not only my boyfriend of approx. 2years but also one of my closest friends and even the thought of losing any of that throws me into a panic. I think that I know deep down that everything will get better (and I hope they do, 'cause we are moving into an apartment together in May!) but it still scares me.

On top of all of this I have a handful of other things that are worrying me. My friends in high school used to tease me a bout being the "mother hen" and I guess nothing has changed. I just want everyone to be as happy as possible and will not take 'no' for an answer.

So for those of you that I see on a day-to-day basis, if I seem a bit out of it, now you know why. I will try not to drag any of this into other things but I cannot promise anything. Maybe I should just appologize now, just in case. *S*

Well...another day...another new question...what else is new...oh well I quess that the only way we keep things interesting is by questioning what we see around us, otherwise life wouldn't be all that fun.

Why is it that I always have so many things that I want to write about on here when the computer is not on or when I'm not near it but as soon as I sit down with the post box in front of me I can never think of anything to say!! It is getting really annoying. Maybe I should start carrying a little book around with me so I can write ideas in it when I think of them....oh no!! I'm becoming Patrick-ized!! Not happening...it's not happening!! No to the book! Blah.

On a happier note I have finally been able to talk to the people that I wanted to and it seems (hopefully) that things are starting to head back up. I really don't like things hanging over my head like that...makes me more than a little jumpy. But I hope that everything is back in order...as much as it can be with me completely confused, but that is nothing new. One of the many problems that crop up when you jump into everything head first.

I do have to say though that trying to expand my group of friends has eased a lot of tension in my mind that I didn't even know was there. I love being with people, especially in a crowd of friends. I always have. And I am not saying that there is anything wrong with the friends I have now; quite on the contrary actually. I would be lost without most of them. It seems though that, especially Patrick and Lynz, and even Erin and Weaver have become more like family than friends and I love each of them tremenously. I guess thats what happens when you are around people so much. I'm just glad that they haven't gotten sick of me yet! lol *S* But now that I am hopefully slowly expanding that group, so many more people have come into my life and I am loving every minute of it! So I guess all of this is coming down to a great big thank you to Amanda, Richard, Tony, Dave, Trevor and even Joanna. You may not think you have done much but believe me you have.
Thank you all.

And than, while I am on my mushy streak, I would like to give a big hug to everyone at home (and yes Sean and Manda that means you too *S*). I miss you all so much and I love hearing from all of you and knowing that I can still be apart of your lives even with so much geography between us.

A great big "Huzzah!" to Steph and her new girlfriend!! I am SO very happy for the both of you; you deserve it so much girl! And don't worry too much about what people say...it is how you believe in yourself that matters and what makes you happy is your decision, not anyone elses. Big hugz!

Manda...what can I say...have fun girl, like I know you will. Party on!! lol

Eddie deserves a "break a leg" in your upcoming play. I'm sorry...I forget the name of it! lol But I am sure that you will be amazing and I will be there front row to see it!! See you soon.

And finally to Sean, my bestest buddy. I know sometimes that things can look dark but it is only in the darkness that you can see the light clearly; Or to borrow Lynz's phrase "to get a rainbow you first need to put up with a little rain." Things will work out for you, I have no doupt of that. And I will be here anytime, day or nite if you need me. Love you to bits hun.

Well I guess that that is enough from me for right now. Maybe a little sleep will kick out the mush. lol Anyway, everyone have a fantastic Friday the 13th and if you see a black cat, make sure you go up to say hi!

*blows kisses all around*

-Sar

Oh by the way, Bean says Hi to everyone. He is busy playing on the Pirate ship right now.

The Wings I was Given

You are a PHOENIX in your soul and your
wings make a statement. Huge and born of flame,
they burn with light and power and rebirth.
Ashes fall from your wingtips. You are an
amazingly strong person. You survive, even
flourish in adversity and hardship. A firm
believer in the phrase, 'Whatever doesn't kill
you only makes you stronger,' you rarely fear
failure. You know that any mistake you make
will teach you more about yourself and allow
you to 'rise from the ashes' as a still greater
being. Because of this, you rarely make the
same mistake twice, and are not among the most
forgiving people. You're extremely powerful and
wise, and are capable of fierce pride, passion,
and anger. Perhaps you're this way because you
were forced to survive a rough childhood. Or
maybe you just have a strong grasp on reality
and know that life is tough and the world is
cruel, and it takes strength and independence
to survive it. And independence is your
strongest point - you may care for others, and
even depend on them...but when it comes right
down to it, the only one you need is yourself.
Thus you trust your own intuition, and rely on
a mind almost as brilliant as the fire of your
wings to guide you.You are eternal and because
you have a strong sense of who and what you
are, no one can control your heart or mind, or
even really influence your thinking. A symbol
of rebirth and renewal, you tend to be a very
spiritual person with a serious mind - never
acting immature and harboring a superior
disgust of those who do. Likewise, humanity's
stupidity and tendency to want others to solve
their problems for them frustrates you
endlessly. Though you can be stubborn,
outspoken, and haughty, I admire you greatly.


*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

YEAH FOR CAKE DAY!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BITHDAY DEAR PATRICK....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!

Now you are even older than the rest of us!!! LOL But we still love you hun! *kiss*

On other news...NEW FOAMY TOMORROW!!! Yeah for Foamy!!

Anyway I have to go finish making the cake but later all....

-excited but perfectionism is setting in....

Man I LOVE quizes!!!

hehehe...
Quizes have to be one of the best ways to waste your time! I mean who comes up with this stuff?!? So far today I have learned that I would be a pixie, Nemo, Merry, caramel, Selene (from Underworld), an artistic fariy, long island ice tea, with a red heart and a green cloak who is supposed to marry Frodo (don't worry Lynz I'm backing away real slow like...). lol Wow I have too much time on my hands!!

If there is anyone out there that likes quizes as much as me or is just bored...check out quizilla! I put a link on the side so you can find it easier. It is so much fun! They have absolutely everything and even things that you would never think of. Check it out.

-Crazy, Bored Girl

Congratulations! You're Merry!


Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Okay...So I guess this thing is going around so I figured I had better do it. And this way those of you who don't like these things don't have to delete it from their inbox.

So for your viewing pleasure: all about me....


1. What is your full Name: Sarah Jane Koegler (but only 2 people can call me that so the rest of you are taking your life into your hands if you try it. Just a warning...)

2. What color pants are you wearing right now? Brown

3. What are you listening to right now: Patrick and Lynz laughing at Lion King 1 1/2

4. What are the last 2 digits of your phone number: 62

5. What was the last thing you ate: ice cream!!! yeah for ice cream

6. If you where a crayon what color would you be? I would hope red, but purple would do also...

7. How is the weather right now? I would tell you if I had stepped outside at all today but...meh!

8. Last person you talked to on the phone: Joanna...freaking about school...again...

9. First thing you notice about the opposite sex: definately eyes and smile...than hair...

10. Do you like the person who sent this to you: I live with her...I better like her....*S*

11. How are you today? kinda tired but content

12. Favorite Drink: ice cold 2% milk

13. Favorite Alcoholic drink: I don't know if I have one as of yet.....unless you count coffee with Baileys

14. Favorite Sports: figure skating...and yes it IS a sport!!

15. Hair color? Redish blond...for now

16. Eye color: bluey-greeny-orange (and no, I'm not making it up)

18. Siblings: younger brother Matthew

19. Favorite month: I guess a flip between Feb and Oct

20. Favorite Food: seafood

21. Last Movie you watched? Lion King 1 1/2, than American Beauty, than From Hell...tonight anyway ;)

22. Favorite Day of the Year: Hallowe'en of course!!

23. Are you too shy to ask someone out? I don't know...depends I guess

24. Summer or Winter? Summer if it's here....or a 'normal' winter

25. Hugs or Kisses? both

26. Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate

27. Do you want your friends to write back? of course I do but I doupt many will....hint hint...

28. Who is most likely to respond: Steph

29. Who is least likely to respond: Eddie, cause he hates these things

30. Living Arrangements: With Lynz, Mikey and Laurie

31. What books are you reading: Enchanters' End Game...although I should prolly pick up some school books eventually...

32. What's on your mouse pad? what mouse pad?!

33. Favorite Board game: Scene It?, Twister (which no one will let me play anymore...thanks Sean!), and many forms of cards, including Thumb Master

34. What did you do last night? Movie marathon with Richard (yes I know more movies but shoot me)

35. Favorite Smells: Mint, fresh bread, a new book

36. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Unfortunately no...

37. New Year's Resolution: To have a good Hallowe'en this year....


So there you go...any more questions I should be answering while I'm at it?

By the way...does anyone know how to get my time to work properly on this thing?! It's getting really annoying....it's actually 1240 am.

-Sar (Cora)

Things are not always as they seem

In the past week or so there have been a bit of gossip curculating that I would like to address.

Let me first say that I am not against gossip; in fact I love to hear gossip as much as the next person but there comes a time when those gossiping should get their facts straight. Let me also remind people that if someone has a problem or a concern regarding me or my actions, I cannot explain anything if those people do not come to me personally. I will worry if someone doesn't seem right around me or if I hear that people have been spreading things about me or any friends of mine but I can't DO anything unless I am approached. And please don't be afraid to do so...it can only make things better because rumors will then be exchanged for fact.

Let me say now that I do not want to hurt ANYONE. If you truely know me you would know that I hate hurting people and will try everything not to do so. I will make mistakes and sometimes my judgement is not completely sound but I will never intentionally hurt someone unless I have an extreamly good reason for it, and even that is pushing it.

So please all that I ask is that you come and talk to me if you have an issue or a concern. I will not bite and I do promise to listen. I can't change things if I don't know about them. Please.

-Concerned and worried

Hey guys.
Just wanted to say hi since I have't been on the net for the past few days. (stupid internet) Anyway....yeah.

In honour of the mushiest day of the year.....
(Unfortunately I can't take credit for this one...it's all Sheena)
Enjoy!! *S*

"Fuck Valentine's Day"

Hearts, roses and kisses galore,
What the hell is all that shit for?
People get mushy and start acting queer,
It is definitely the most annoying day of the year.
This day needs to get the hell over with and pass,
Before I shove something up Cupid's cute little ass.
I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak
And wear black for the rest of the week.
Guys and Girls act all sweet, but soon it will fade,
For all they are doing is trying to get laid.
The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit,
Cause I think this love thing is a crock of shit.
So, here's my story... what else can I say?
Love, bite my ass...

"Fuck Valentines Day!! "

Yeah for life!!!

You are Form 7, Gryphon: The Wyrm.

"And The Gryphon displaced the balance of
the world in his favor. With grace and
control, Gryphon deceived mankind and ruled
over civillization. But even he realized that
all good things must come to an end."

Some examples of the Gryphon Form are Satan
(Christian) and Baphomet (Assyrian).
The Gryphon is associated with the concept of
control, the number 7, and the element of wind.
His sign is the gibbous moon.

As a member of Form 7, you are a very in control
individual. You maintain your coolness in most
situations and always seem to be prepared.
Though some may say you are a bit of a control
freak, you know that you really do make the
best leader even if others can't see it.
Gryphons are the best friends to have because
they have a positive influence on people.


Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Wow...Well this has been a very interesting week so far.

Everything that happened to Patrick really freaked me out. For those that don't know me very much I tend to have a pessimistic attitude about most things and can often only think of the worse possible outcomes; so when Patrick pulled a layer of skin of his eyes all I could think of what all the "what ifs." Luckily none of them happened and although I know how upset he is about not being able to wear contacts anymore, all I can think of is how happy that is all that happened. Watching a loved one go through that amount of pain and being unable to do anything about it has to be the most frustrating thing; even more so when the only thing I could do to "help" was give him drops that caused more pain. I'm just glad it's over.

Anyway on a happier note....Drama Party Tomorrow!! It has been way too long since the last one and I am really excited. I don't care if I have to get up at 8 the next morning for Directing, if the party is good I am NOT going home early. Sleep is for the weak. *L*

Overall the past few days have been full of both really happy and scary moments but the rest of the week is looking up. And I would just like to say...here's to new friends!

-Tired but Content

AHHH!! I just don't understand it. How could I possibly be awake at 8 in the morning?! Esspecially after last nite! Figures. One day that I can actually sleep 'til 1 if I want and I'm wide awake. I swear somebody hates me!

Although I did find something this morning that has made my day (even though it is 8am!! grr). NEW FOAMY!! I'm so excited!! And if any one is asking themselves who is Foamy I say now you are deprived. Foamy is ONLY our lord and master! You have to check it out! I even added it to my links so you don't have to go very far. Let me know what you think.

Anyway I think I am going to try to will my body back into a stage of drowsiness. But I had better see everyone tonight for a PARTY! *wink*

Later,
Spacey Sar

Okay...so I'm new to this thing so don't blame me if it sucks. So...yeah...anyway...hi.