What is a friend?

I have had a pretty good reason to analyze this question a lot lately.

What makes a good friend?
What do you expect from a friend?
And do you follow those expectations yourself?

A bunch of different situations over the past year have made me really question who my true friends are and who are simply the people I hang out with. This has been a hard distinction for me to make, simply because I have always put a lot of weight on friendship.

My close friends are my family. In many cases, they are closer to me then members of my biological family. I give unconditional love to my close friends and I know that I expect the same. I stand by these people through anything and everything, if I agree or not. Although, if I dont agree, I will say something. (Right, Steph?) Some people can handle this and some cant.

I expect only what I give.

Actually most times I expect a lot less then I give.

I will bend over backwards for a friend. I often times (too often for my own good according to my therapist) put their needs and wants ahead of my own. And I dont expect them to do the same.

Some of these things have to change. Others will stay the same.

So what should I expect?

I will expect my friends to be there for me.
I will expect them to be truthful and honest to me.
I will expect disagreements to happen, but will also expect mature reactions and solutions.
I will expect them to put in effort to spend time with me.
I will expect to cry, laugh, sing, dance, have fun and be bored with my friends.
I will see them through their worst nightmare and they will see me through mine.
I wont have to talk to them everyday to know that they are there.
I will trust them with my life, soul, reputation and even my secrets.

This is what I expect from a true friend. And what I will expect of myself to give to a true friend.

Not everyone will be a true friend. Some people are just fun to have a drink with. Others have great stories to listen too. And there will even be those whose only purpose is to teach you lessons through their own mistakes.

A true friend is not something that you find everyday and I am extremely lucky to have the ones I do in my life. We have been through shit. We have seen each others at a worst. We have yelled and screamed and cried and threatened. But we have also laughed. A lot.

To those of you in my life that I would trust with my life, and you know who you are; Thank you. With all of my heart.