RPG Life Rules

Got this from Lynz and thought it was great. I know most of you have prolly already read it but oh well....here goes:

remember kids, plan b always involves setting something on fire!

-If an NPC's name starts with the letter V or an X, they're evil, just stab them in the face and do the world a favor.

-Never underestimate a Kobold.

- Always make it very clear when you are saying an OOC joke about an IC situation, you never know when the DM will take you seriously and force you to actually kick that demi-god of complete and utter destruction in the groin...

If it's not locked, it's trapped.

Adventurers will take anything that's not bolted down.

Always have Feather Fall memorized.

If it is pink and smells like Peptobismal its probably a healing potion.

If it is green and smells putrid it is probably a poison.

If it is made of obsidian and engraved with red glowing runes, it is probably evil.

If it is magical and two-handed, it is cursed.

If the portal is in a temple where evil clerics reside, you probably don't want to go into the portal.

Always pack an extra set of clothes and two extra bow strings. The bow strings are obvious, the clothes depend on the DM.

Arrows do get heavy when you buy 20 quivers.

Horses don't eat iron rations, and if they do they eat a lot more than a gnome.

If you need the bard to negotiate for you to buy and sell goods, stop calling him a pansy.

-If a hooded stranger gives you 2000gp to sign a blank piece of paper, chances are that you've just sold your soul to a devil (or to Amanda, she collects souls you know)

-The man in a funny robe(whom you've just robbed) isn't muttering to himself...he's casting a spell to destroy you...

-Taverns always contain a notice board where you can find wanted ads for adventurers of your your level

If the DM is hiding the monster mini behind his screen "as a suprise", your PC is going to die.

Whenever the words "I've counted, he's out of ammo!" are spoken, the weapon in question has at least 1 shot left.

-If there's treasure out in the open for everyone to see, its either cursed or a pit trap.

If it's not identified, don't use it

Never anger a hermit or other type of harmless old being

No Matter what Never say " I have XXX HP i can take it" Within 5 minuets you will be rolling up a new character with more HP then XXX so next time you can take it.

-No matter what, the DM is always right. If he ever has to prove this, he's also going to be an ass, especially if he wasn't before.

-The DM can never plan for everything.

-If you assume a potion is of a certain type based on the color, the DM can (and more than likely will) change what colors mean what.

-You can lead a player to roleplaying, but you can't force him to be in character.

-When in doubt, rip something off. Try for something the players haven't seen; that way, you'll seem creative, and they'll never know.

Never anger a solar at mid level.

don't be intimidated by a dire footstool. It's only a 2HD creature.

Always Disbelive the Illusion

Take ranks in perform (mime) because when the party cleric gets annoyed at you not shutting up you'll want to be prepared for that eventual silence spell!

Whenever you say "Bring 'em on, I can take it!" The DM just confirmed a critical and you're now at -9 hp.

The DM usually doesn't like it when you are discussing the best way to pick-pocket the NPC's that are supposed to be leading you on your quest.

- When in doubt, silence yourself and tackle the evil wizard.

A sledgehammer, time and a determined barbarian can get through most dungeon walls, not to mention the doors.

touching someones dice without permission is a good way to become an amputee

no matter how hard you throw your dice across the room in frustration after a failed roll, the result is only lost dice.

if you want to see if an item is magical, put it on a halfling